Due to the ailment I suffered last week with my neck, I've been on anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxants. These pills wreak havoc with my body. They kill my stomach. On friday morning I took my last anti-inflammatory, else I wouldn't be able to eat anything for days til the 'scrip ran out. I was plagued with terrible bouts of "the runs." It was awful.

So Saturday morning when I woke up and I was feeling good, I thought "yay! It's behind me." And all day Saturday I was fine. I was good. It was good.

However, because I had emptied myself on Friday, I didn't go to the bathroom on Saturday. I didn't go all day Sunday as well.

That proved to be a problem for me. On Sunday night I went to the guy's house for dinner with him and his parents. Do you see where this is going? The meal was delicious. Roasted Pork and the fixings. I enjoyed it. However, my bowels did not. About five minutes after supper my stomach started grumbling. My intestines started attacking me. And it was all I could do not to look green or have a face that says I'm in physical pain!

So here I was sitting at the table after having finished that delicious meal...in front of the guy and his parents... talking up a bluestreak and then SHIT! I couldn't hold it anymore.

I went to the washroom...and there I am on the toilet and I just cannot keep it inside of me, but I can't let it go either because I'm AT MY BOYFRIEND'S HOUSE! I cannot get 'the runs' at my boyfriend's house!

So I came out of the washroom and I told the guy that I REALLY wasn't feeling better. He drove me home and on the way down my street I said "I'll talk to you tomorrow?" And he says "yeah, sure, you're going to run aren't you?" And I said "yep!"

So I kissed him and before the car even stopped I jumped out the door and ran into the house and into the washroom.

I am SO embarrassed.

Before I was leaving the guy's house his mom gave me a hug and said she was sorry I was still feeling the effects of the pills. She whispered in my ear "Take a laxative, it'll clean you right out." And I couldn't help but laugh! And you cannot laugh when (in the words of mike myers) a wee turtlehead's poking out! So it was a strangled laugh. It was like an out of body experience where I was listening to my strangled hyena laugh and couldn't believe the predicament I put myself in.

After all was said and done and I was feeling better I phoned the guy and told him I was better and apologized for my weird illness at the most inopportune time. He said it was alright. I told him to thank his mom for the tip but I didn't need one.

I hope she means laxative, and not tip. Eh.